


A Lot like Hope

by buckysawsteve



Series: ficlets [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ficlet, Hope, M/M, Tumblr Prompt, angsty, they deserve some goddamn happiness, two men who love each other a lot okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 14:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15910449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckysawsteve/pseuds/buckysawsteve
Summary: Bucky felt like bolting, but Steve's presence along with a little hope, help to keep him grounded.





	A Lot like Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This was a Tumblr prompt I received. Normally I would just keep them on Tumblr for neatness sake, but I am hungry to get my creative juices going and comments keep me going. So, I appreciate all the kudos and love, and thank you for taking the time to read my crap writing! <3 
> 
> Original prompt: There's not enough Wakanda tent fic. So how about something just with them hanging out in Wakanda between Civil War and Infinity War.

Everything ached – bones, joints, his entire goddamn being. Maybe it was from all the effort it took not to bolt, to disappear and never look back. Maybe it was from the terror and abuse that his body has been put through for the last century. Whatever it was, it had him gritting his teeth against the onslaught of pretty much everything.

 _He_ noticed, because of course he did and again, it took everything in him to not tell him he was fine – that it was _nothing_. Instead, he gritted his teeth harder.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve lowered himself down behind him. He could feel the body heat radiating off Steve, even from the space that he so carefully kept between them.

“What am I thinking?”

“That you’re fine. That you can get by own your own.”

Bucky snorted. “Isn’t that your line?”

He could all but feel the smile that tugged at the corner of Steve’s lips; found himself wishing that this fucked up world hadn’t taken away the ease in which Steve’s smiles used to come.

“It used to be,” Steve said. “You know, you don’t have to stay here.”

They had this conversation before, back when Bucky came out of cryo. He didn’t care to have it again. “Steve…”

“Buck,” Steve started, stopped and then with a frustrated huff continued. “You’ve never had a choice and I don’t want to be the reason that you’re staying.”

Bucky said nothing; what else was there to say? He had no idea how else he could convince Steve that this was here he wanted to be, even when it felt like it wasn’t. He dropped his head into his hands, the weight of it all taking its toll.

Steve inched closer. “Can I? Please, Buck.”

There had been a time when Bucky had been so open to touch, a time where he had all but yearned it. A touch of a woman. Steve’s touch. Any touch, really. It didn’t come so easily now, not when he had built walls so goddamn high and strong, it took more than he possessed to tear them down.

But Steve needed this almost as much as he ached for it. And he did, ache for it. He had ached for Steve for about as long as he could remember. Hydra had failed to erase that; how could they, when wanting Steve had been so ingrained in him that it was as natural as taking a breath.

So, he nodded.

“I need to hear you say it, Buck.”

“You can touch me, Stevie.”

He was rigid, body drawn taunt the moment Steve’s hands began to work knotted muscles. But slowly, minute by minute, he felt himself begin to melt into Steve’s touch – felt his body begin to relax.

“There you go,” Steve murmured.

In this moment, Bucky could almost see what their life could have been like. The easy touches, the smiles, the laughter. There was no doubt that the sex with Steve would have been incredible, maybe even life changing. Suddenly, he found himself grieving for the men – no, the boys – that they had been and all the things that they would never get to experience.

He reached up, grabbed onto Steve’s hand; held on tight.

“Stevie…” God, was his voice really that shaky?

“It’s okay, Buck. I got you.”

Bucky lost track of how long they sat like that, Steve plastered against his back and Bucky gripping his hand like his entire being depended on it; but when they finally broke apart, the sun had gone down and outside of their tent, the night sang a low tune. To Bucky, it almost sounded a lot like hope.

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Okay.”

“No, Stevie. I mean it.”

Steve was silent for a minute. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

“I think we got more fighting to do.”

“I know.”

“But I see a life for us,” Bucky murmured, not willing to raise his voice more than a whisper. “After all of it is said and done. I am surprised by how much I want it. I didn’t think I would want anything ever again.”

“Oh, Buck.”

Steve’s arms wrapped around him, his face burrowed into the crock of his neck and Bucky? Well, his body still ached with everything he kept locked down, but he knew he could work through it.

With Steve by his said, he could do anything.


End file.
